Over the summer break from work we had plans to stain the deck and complete our underfloor insulation. A bit ambitious for a family of 4 with a 2 and a half year old and a 7 week old? Perhaps.

But we do have a bit of family and friend support around who have been fantastic in helping us manage our load by providing dinners and food, babysitting the eldest, and even general cleaning around the house. So I must say that it sucks not to be able to tick those items off our list. I do hate having large to do items hanging over my head and am so used to just getting things done.

missed goals

But life had other plans. Our newborn son has some currently undiagnosed issues where he seems in a lot of pain and isn’t sleeping much. Sounds a lot like colic or reflux but still not sure. We are lucky to be getting 3-4 hours total sleep each night at the moment. I could do that for a week or so, but this little sleep for 7 weeks is really difficult.

That is why I am giving myself a pass for not completing our planned home improvements. I had a hard time coming to that point but I think we are doing a great job as it is just to survive in these current conditions!

It’s not like we won’t ever do those jobs either. Just because we didn’t do them when we wanted to do them, it doesn’t mean we will give up completely. We can still do them. Just when we are in a better position and a little less sleep deprived with time to spare.

if you missed your goal, go easy on yourself

I’m writing this as I know a lot of people who are very hard on themselves for not hitting their goals and even give up completely just because they missed one target. For example, eating a chocolate biscuit that wasn’t part of a new eating plan. But slip ups are ok. As long as you don’t let that slip up lead to an avalanche, you can regather your footing and charge ahead again.

Goals are great to give your life a general direction but I wouldn’t get too hung up on the specifics of how you get there. It may be a little slower or a bit zig-zaggy than you planned, but that is still great. Life happens. If 2020 taught us anything, it’s that we often have no idea what’s around the corner. We can’t plan for every eventuality.

You may even find that you catch up later through some good timing unforeseen circumstances.

adjust and set new goals

The point is to keep going and don’t be so hard on yourself. Remain flexible as your goals may change. Recognise this and reset your general direction. One example of changing direction is that several years ago I expected to fully retire around age 45. But since then I’ve realised I do like work, just not the wrong type of work. So we are now going to be slowing down at age 42 to possibly part time and looking at changing careers.

Was my first goal of retiring at age 45 a failure? I don’t think so. In fact, I think sticking to that goal without realising my opinion had changed would be a failure. I would be working full time, in an uninspiring job for an extra 3 years than I am now, then I would be bored.

Missed goals aren’t a failure if you can reset and restart. Don’t be another statistic that gives up on your dreams before January is even over.

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